March Parenting Newsletter - Build Self Esteem by Empowering Your Kids!

Most parents know how important it is to build self esteem in their children. According to PositivePsychology.com, “Self-esteem is crucial to children’s academic achievement, participation, engagement in activities, social relationships, and, ultimately, their sense of wellbeing.”

Most of us also know that a child’s self-esteem grows when parents pay attention, give smiles and show they are proud. But this article by KidsHealth.com,  explains that it is just as important to allow kids to TRY, to empower them to learn and make mistakes and grow. If we overprotect our children and don’t allow this natural learning to occur, we do our kids a great disservice. If you have joined our book clubs for Anxious Kids Anxious Parents, you know that overparenting and “doing for your child what your child could do themselves” can also lead to anxiety in your child.

How can I help my child to learn, make mistakes and grow?

Praise EFFORT more than achievement. It is the small steps that make progress toward a goal that matter. There are many ways to learn skills, like music, sports, art, and cooking.

Set a goal and make progress toward it. These can be small goals - learn to ride a bike, get on stage for the music concert, or join a sport. Focus on practice and encourage children to do things they like and do well AND things that are challenging.

Normalize mistakes and failure. Everyone who has ever achieved something great has failed a lot too. This is just a part of life and when we learn from failure we get better.

Contribute to the family.  Chores and responsibilities for personal hygiene build on confidence and belonging. Children usually feel proud when they earn a new chore in the household because they are older and more responsible.

Take ownership and pride in learning things at school.  Encourage children to share their own pride in their own work they complete or grades they achieve. It isn’t the parent’s grade and it doesn’t reflect on you as a parent. Your child owns their learning.

Make friends and solve problems. It can be difficult as a parent to NOT step in and solve a problem FOR our children, but it is hugely important that we empower our kids in this situation. If your child talks about a friendship problem at school, remind them of all the things they already know to solve problems. Did they use stop walk talk? Did they report to an adult at school? Who? What else could they do next to solve the problem?

Help, give or be kind. This builds and strengthens a child’s sense of purpose in life.